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Ask me anything http://formspring.me/cuptow555

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/cuptow555

Insomnia? No... I Just Do Not Feel Like Sleeping!

Okay. So I have this little "problem." I do not ever feel like sleeping.

It's not necessarily that I can not sleep, it's just that I don't feel like it! I know I NEED to sleep to survive. I know I will regret my decision tomorrow (later today I guess). But there is something inside me that hates sleeping. I never feel like sleeping unless I am EXHAUSTED! And once I am actually asleep... I do not feel like waking up! What is wrong with me?!

This "problem" has haunted me forEVER. I think this problem started when I hit puberty to be honest. I remember in 6th grade, I would stay up until 3-4am because I just didn't feel like sleeping. But then I would become so tired that I would fall asleep and then my body wouldn't want to wake up.

It doesn't really qualify as Insomnia does it? Insomnia is when you WANT to sleep, but you can't? I could probably fall asleep if I tried; the problem is, I don't want to.

There is something about staying up all night that I enjoy. I think I secretly enjoy the torture... it makes me feel ALIVE!

When I tell people this, they always respond with, "You're crazy! I LOVE SLEEP! Sleep is my favorite thing EVER!" I GET IT! I know! Once I am actually ASLEEP I LOVE IT! I don't want to wake up! I LOVE dreaming and sleeping and doing nothing. But at night, when I'm awake, I DON'T LIKE IT! But when I finally pass out and fall asleep (or when I'm completely exhausted) I LOVE IT!

Does this make sense to anyone?! I KNOW there are other people out there who feel the same way!

I think I am a WANNABE Insomniac :-(

Always Take Pictures of Your Work!

I just want to say, to all those artists out there... Take pictures of EVERYTHING YOU DO! And then keep them in a safe, well organized, place. And I mean DIGITALLY. Like if you put them on a CD, put that CD in a SAFE place and don't lose it! Then back up all the photos on an external hard drive. Then back it up AGAIN on one of those online storage places. That way you will ALWAYS have an archive of everything you have done.

I say this because... About a year ago I had spent MONTHS AND MONTHS of my life painting larger than life size paintings of Tyra Banks. They were for my BFA painting program Final Critique. That critique was the straw that broke the camels back and made me leave Indiana University and come to FIDM (BEST DECISION OF MY LIFE BTW). But I was so upset and in a weird place that I didn't care about the paintings. I left them at Indiana and never took pictures of them. There are probably rotting in some dump right now *cries*.

I did take some pictures of my favorite Tyra painting. But my hard drive crashed and I lost it. So now I only have one SHITTY picture of it in the middle stages. So I have ONE picture of ONE of my paintings UNFINISHED... an a bad quality one at that...

I'm so upset...

Why Does The Grass ALWAYS Have to be Greener?!

I don't know what my current obsession with mastering the "comic book" style drawings is all about. I'm OBSESSED and it's eating me ALIVE. I honestly can't think about anything else! I keep looking at artists on Deviant Art and making myself extremely depressed.

Here are some examples of work I am EXTREMELY jealous of:

http://kingmong.deviantart.com/art/Wing-of-Doom-86648304
http://adamhughes.deviantart.com/art/Storm-129666864
http://jujika.deviantart.com/art/The-Workstation-2-19440784
http://jujika.deviantart.com/art/Mage-77325398

And then I look at my crappy work and I feel like THE worst artist EVER. I would TOTALLY trade talents. Who the hell cares if I can copy a picture. Whoopdee FRIGGIN doo... My art bores me so much. I wish I could take some of the images in my head and spit them out onto a piece of paper and have them look like some of the work I posted above.

I've bought several books recently to try and help me achieve this goal. Like "Anatomy for Fantasy Artists" by Gleen Fabry. "Imaginative Realism" by James Gurney. "Superheroes and Beyond: How to Draw the Leading & Supporting Characters of Today's Comics" by Christopher Hart. And "Drawing Cutting Edge Anatomy: The Ultimate Reference Guide for Comic Book Artists." also by Christopher Hart.

These books are INCREDIBLE, but because I suck, I just end up copying characters out of the book. I can EASILY draw any "comic book" character IF I'M LOOKING AT IT. But drawing something out of my head ends up looking nothing like I want and I end up trashing it.

I think my MAIN problem is coloring, to be honest. I have several pencil drawings that I LOVE. But then when I attempt to color it in Photoshop... LAWD... it's a hot mess.

I WISH one of these artists would take me under their wing and TEACH ME IN PERSON... or even just let me sit there and WATCH THEM. But I don't know ANY Comic Book artists and I highly doubt anyone would ever want to teach me or show me their secret.

Why does the grass ALWAYS have to be so much greener when it's on the other side?! WHY?! *cries*

I Need A Filter For My Brain

Do you ever find that you have so many thoughts and ideas that it actually hinders you from creating anything at all?

I have SO many ideas and things I want to do, I don't even know where to start. I need to learn how to filter my thoughts. Maybe I should just start writing down everything and organizing my ideas. Cause I'm not only a "Fashion Designer"... I'm an "Artist" as well. So I'm CONSTANTLY having visions of garments I want to make. Or I'm thinking of poses or faces I could draw. Which I could apply to my drawings or my fashion sketches. I also think of music videos I could make. Is that weird? I literally will hear a song and picture the music video in my head and get super excited. The "music video" will then lead me to think of designs for "costumes".

I also feel like there is ALWAYS so much I want to do and/ or NEED to do. I NEED to produce more pencil drawings, but I'm already starting to get bored with copying pictures again. I don't see what I'm doing as creative at all. It is more of a relaxation for me. I do not have to think what-so-ever when I'm doing portraits in pencil. But I need to do more to include on my Etsy page (which isn't selling by the way... maybe because I only have 2 pieces up). My main goal for my art is to create things like I drew in my last post. But it's SO hard for me to start. I feel like it takes forever for me to FILTER my ideas for a drawing. Again with the TO MANY THOUGHTS. I will want to start a drawing. I will have a specific pose I will want to do and thats it. I usually don't know what the context of the drawing is at all. Maybe because I'm so used to doing Fashion Sketches with no background?

See I'm already kind of getting off track. My mind wanders SO easily it's ridiculous.

I'm ALWAYS excited when I don't have school because that means I have time to create art and work on other stuff. But then when I sit down to draw, I get discouraged because I have so many thoughts in my head that I get overwhelmed and just end up going to Facebook or Twitter or YouTube and wasting time. Hours have passed, and I have done nothing except waste my time "surfing the web."

Wow, I think what it boils down to is that I need to WRITE DOWN MY THOUGHTS IMMEDIATELY. Then also keep a Planner to further organize what I need to do. Because right now I write down nothing and everything is just in my head.

I just answered my own question. SEE HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO WRITE STUFF DOWN?! Wow...