It's not necessarily that I can not sleep, it's just that I don't feel like it! I know I NEED to sleep to survive. I know I will regret my decision tomorrow (later today I guess). But there is something inside me that hates sleeping. I never feel like sleeping unless I am EXHAUSTED! And once I am actually asleep... I do not feel like waking up! What is wrong with me?!
This "problem" has haunted me forEVER. I think this problem started when I hit puberty to be honest. I remember in 6th grade, I would stay up until 3-4am because I just didn't feel like sleeping. But then I would become so tired that I would fall asleep and then my body wouldn't want to wake up.
It doesn't really qualify as Insomnia does it? Insomnia is when you WANT to sleep, but you can't? I could probably fall asleep if I tried; the problem is, I don't want to.
There is something about staying up all night that I enjoy. I think I secretly enjoy the torture... it makes me feel ALIVE!
When I tell people this, they always respond with, "You're crazy! I LOVE SLEEP! Sleep is my favorite thing EVER!" I GET IT! I know! Once I am actually ASLEEP I LOVE IT! I don't want to wake up! I LOVE dreaming and sleeping and doing nothing. But at night, when I'm awake, I DON'T LIKE IT! But when I finally pass out and fall asleep (or when I'm completely exhausted) I LOVE IT!
Does this make sense to anyone?! I KNOW there are other people out there who feel the same way!
I think I am a WANNABE Insomniac :-(
